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starsfan_9's FML badges
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starsfan_9's favorite FMLs
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
by Screwed / 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
by Nightmares / 08/07/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Jill / 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
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