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starflyer59

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starflyer59

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 858
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About starflyer59 : I love Star Trek and Samoa cookies.You can add me on facebook if you wanna :)http://www.facebook.com/mmhmrelientk

starflyer59's page activity

Visits<b>adm38</b> - yesterday at 5:23pm<b>DougK76</b> - yesterday at 10:27am<b>strider1987</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:00am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:37am<b>tennisman5</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:10am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:38am<b>dafuck_15</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Tbearshy</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:32am<b>JesusOfNazareth</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>akacruz</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:21am<b>KeevanP</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:34pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:43pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:59am<b>WheelJackv01</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:28pm<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:09pm<b>ShadowFlame275</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 3:35pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 7:18pm<b>frankenstien2017</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 2:05am

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starflyer59's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (13435)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62734) - you deserved it (3370)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3832)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46249) - you deserved it (2826)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (15030)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48210) - you deserved it (5881)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (5057)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (4223)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8398) - you deserved it (21235)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8398) - you deserved it (21235)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (7806)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (7172)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (8069)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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