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staaaccy

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staaaccy

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 132
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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staaaccy's favorite FMLs

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (7007)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (7007)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (19011)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (9154)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105859) - you deserved it (12417)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115960) - you deserved it (7152)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176913) - you deserved it (45600)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (472903) - you deserved it (29129)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (406203) - you deserved it (66793)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167988) - you deserved it (29999)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167956) - you deserved it (34040)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (172131) - you deserved it (30271)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180798) - you deserved it (28512)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (648812) - you deserved it (437079)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)



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