About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (1654)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (1351)
On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14060) - you deserved it (4652)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14960)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6564) - you deserved it (17441)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7972) - you deserved it (25189)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - love - by mariah_1_11 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13610) - you deserved it (4005)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3530) - you deserved it (21671)
On 03/04/2010 at 3:52am - work - by EnemyofKarma (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (2454)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (5598)
On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States
Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (5598)
On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States
Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (4697)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm - money - by sdauner - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (46734)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (1451)
On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12523) - you deserved it (2384)
On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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