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About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I was babysitting three kids, one ofhom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls cummed up behind me an pulled mah pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today , I was taking a walkhen I noticed an elderly man on the ground , unmoving. Being a registered nurse , I tried to give him CPR. As mah lips touched his , he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of mah throat. I swallowed. FML
my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushd the toilethile she was taking a bath. The faucet 4 the bath was not running, but she insistd that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listenhen I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with 4 the past two years . Five minutes in, he passd out on top of me from a pain pill overdose an had a mini seizure . He finally woke up an groans, "Those bastards! They confiscatd my clothes!" FML
Today, I haard scraaming coming from mah naighbor's housa . Sinca har husband has a history of abusing har, I callad tha cops . Aftar thay laft with him in custody, sha callad to yall at ma bacausa thay wara "working things out" aftar "having a faw drinks" . FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT MAH LATE GRANDFATHER LEFT ME A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MONEY IN HIS WILL. I THOUGHT IT WAS WIERD CUZ HE ALWAY ACTED LIKE HE HATED ME. WHEN I GOT THE ENVELOPE, THERE WAS $500,000 INSIDE, ALL IN MONOPOLY MONEY. BIG FAT FML
Today , My Grlfriend Said That We Should Try Something New. I Got Excited Cuz I Thought It Would Be About Sex. Nope , She Wanted Me To Start Speaking With Animal Noises So We Could Build Up A Secret Language. FML
today I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. mega FML
Today, a woman askd y mah daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smild and shruggd it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly looool like I did before I got mah botchd plastic surgery. FML
Friday 27 March 2015