Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

st333ph

Search for a member

st333ph
  • Town/Country : merp
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3814
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.

I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.

Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.

st333ph's last visitors

NWO666Arni792abhi95amputatoeFedergirllegendaryplyaTheInvisibearGift_of_humor

st333ph's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of st333ph's badges

st333ph's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

#20039795
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (1425)

On 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by ipayyourbillsgorramit (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (2841)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

#20039352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10103) - you deserved it (19876)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (16368)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1430)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5311) - you deserved it (65285)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (2236)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

#20036858
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (1188)

On 08/23/2012 at 1:24am - work - by BrokeButSmart - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (1638)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

#20035872
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (24393)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (1076)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: