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About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I was getting freaky wit my boyfriend and told im to spank me. In a seductive voice, e told me not to tell im wat to do. Continuing, I askd im ow e was going to punis me, to wic e ten replid, "I'm going to punc u straigt in te face." FML
Today, I got a call from the police . Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them . I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds . real FML
Today, I was at Walmart . A guy in a mobility scootar bumpd into ma, than told ma to ( gat tha fuck out of tha way . ) Whan I told him to watch his mouth, ha got up and shovd ma into a shalf . Just a faw minutas prior, ha'd yalld that ha was paralyzd from tha waist down . FML
Today, I Was Reassuring Mah Grlfriend That I Wasn't Cheating On Her Because I Was Sneaking Around . I'm Actually Just Planning A Surprise Brthday Party For Her . During The Reassuring, I Accidentally Called Her Another Grl's Name . FML
Today... after a church service... a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes an politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands... the bitch snatched my purse an ran. FML
TODAY, I JOKINGLY TOLD MAH FRIEND THAT WHEN A TREE SEEMS TO SWAY IN THE WIND, IT'S REALLY JUST HAVING AN ORGASM. NOT ONLY DID SHE BELIEVE ME, SHE'S BEEN SMUGLY INFORMING EVERYONE WE KNOW. SHE'S 26. I SEEM TO BE FRIENDS WITH AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT. REAL FML
I WENT TO SEE ONE OF MAH FAVORITE BANDS. THEY WERE HAVING SIGNINGS... BUT ONLY THE FRST ONE HUNDRD COULD GET ONE. WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO THE DESK... THEY SAID I WAS NUMBER HUNDRD AND ONE... AND TO GET LOST. FML
Friday 27 March 2015