About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42346) - you deserved it (8122)
On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (16296)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (3631)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45495) - you deserved it (5371)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (4523)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (6087)
On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (4968)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40482) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (14921)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (4781)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (5714)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (2570)
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38576) - you deserved it (3426)
On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (37429)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55024) - you deserved it (3081)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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