About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (3530)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (5001)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1867)
On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17761) - you deserved it (29606)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (1624)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (4475)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (2091)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (3229) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (35474)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (7375)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (6839)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (5597)
Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (2043)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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