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st333ph

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st333ph
  • Town/Country : merp
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3821
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.

I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.

Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.

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st333ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (4573)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

#5190097
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (6100)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by fall3nrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56321) - you deserved it (14567)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (1996)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

#5163293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (5936)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165509) - you deserved it (16647)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49130) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52865) - you deserved it (2803)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49058) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17493) - you deserved it (48863)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

#5085622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (10243)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42952) - you deserved it (3334)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34429) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13618) - you deserved it (42494)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (6725)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)



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