About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money and a few water bottles for my friends and me for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realized my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom moved the car. It still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (3455)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by SHARIFFO (man) - Palestinian Territory
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (3173)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (1943)
On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (3984)
On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (11148)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6122) - you deserved it (18052)
On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12949) - you deserved it (2330)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (4335)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (6882)
On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (1497)
On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (10489)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (5745)
On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (8475)
On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (4545)
On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9130) - you deserved it (18375)
On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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