About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4872) - you deserved it (21188)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13353) - you deserved it (5437)
On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (3153)
On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (3589)
On 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by Unloving (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4935) - you deserved it (25200)
On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (1588)
On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (8062)
On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (3407)
On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (1827)
On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (6769)
On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super excited to open my presents, only to discover that everyone in my house had already opened their presents and gone to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (3561)
On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4269) - you deserved it (51447)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (20155)
On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6271) - you deserved it (30776)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6876) - you deserved it (11150)
On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 17 June 2013
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