About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (1495)
On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (10478)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (5740)
On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (8451)
On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (18331)
On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (3310)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (8083)
On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9979) - you deserved it (21772)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (17422)
On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33296) - you deserved it (4839)
On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (2593)
On 10/16/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by DamnThatsHarsh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31336) - you deserved it (1934)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (5208)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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