About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (3403)
On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (1825)
On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (6760)
On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super excited to open my presents, only to discover that everyone in my house had already opened their presents and gone to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17433) - you deserved it (3554)
On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4260) - you deserved it (51198)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6254) - you deserved it (30693)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6817) - you deserved it (11058)
On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20048) - you deserved it (2285)
On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (28935)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (2718)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (2718)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17043) - you deserved it (3841)
On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (16906)
On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4401) - you deserved it (12488)
On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (4708)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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