About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (3958)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (44479)
On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (1622)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13608) - you deserved it (4487)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (5135)
On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (4721)
On 01/15/2010 at 12:07am - love - by hesaidwhat - United States
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (25732)
On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (43628)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (6247)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (2703)
On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1174)
On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (22172)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15280) - you deserved it (2382)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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