About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.
I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.
Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.
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Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (4720)
On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (9547)
On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (14030)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44532) - you deserved it (7917)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (20276)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79307) - you deserved it (4474)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (3372)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (7984)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (4135)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (3861)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (16064)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51013) - you deserved it (6143)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (33374)
On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (7549)
On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (6302)
On 05/09/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by fml0505 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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