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st333ph

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st333ph
  • Town/Country : merp
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1167
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.

I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.

Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.

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st333ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (10802)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39667) - you deserved it (6906)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (18785)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70926) - you deserved it (3989)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (7512)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4016)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML

#20659040
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39728) - you deserved it (15099)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (5982)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (32253)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43607) - you deserved it (7214)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51140) - you deserved it (3078)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (9354)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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