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ssmckenzie15

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ssmckenzie15

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:23pm

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Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (11497)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (14258)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (13756)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

#21231175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (2489)

On 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm - work - by TzarErik (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39740) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (6052)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66918) - you deserved it (4888)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (11834)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML



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