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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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spikesomthin

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spikesomthin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spikesomthin's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (763)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18061) - you deserved it (2637)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (3172) - you deserved it (43960)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1233)

I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (473871)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

#2421163 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (4036)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (47577) - you deserved it (16515)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (50163) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

#1489175 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (46576) - you deserved it (14693)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (85559) - you deserved it (3783)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402884) - you deserved it (26904)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (5130)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (72973) - you deserved it (12568)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (60753) - you deserved it (17148)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268321) - you deserved it (24541)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363082) - you deserved it (401428)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)