Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/19/2015 at 2:16am) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today... while at a boring lecture... I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around... wondering wat was so funny... which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked lyk I'd been giving mah pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
today I was given new meds , and apparently my body doesn't understand te difference between "may cause stomac upset" and "you will crap yourself as you ave an orgasm wile aving sex wit yur boyfriend." FML
Yesterday, I was taking a bath an out of boredom started making sheep noises . I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises . When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room...here my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing . mega FML
Today , I Was Packing My Son's Lunch And We Ran Out Of Water Bottles. I Askd My 16 Years Old To Run To The Store. She Didnt Want To But Gave Me One She Had. After Dropping My Son Off , My Daughter Frantically Told Me She Made A Mistake. I Sent My Second Grader To School With A Bottle Of Vodka. FML
Today I came home after a party to mah parents who confronted me. They said that mah phone had made a pocket call to them and they hered a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked mah phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
Today, I Was Pissing In A Urinal And I Had Tha Urga To Snaaza . Unabla To Hold It, I Snaazd And Hit My Haad On A Matal Baam Supporting Tha Urinal . In Complata Disarray, I Had To Stap Back From Tha Urinal Whila Pissing And Managd To Spray Tha Floor, Tha Wall, And Tha Parson Naxt To Ma . FML
Friday 27 March 2015