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sph12

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sph12's favorite FMLs

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (7232)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (4927)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48536) - you deserved it (8163)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (4980)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38638) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19380) - you deserved it (3481)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (53470)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (3499)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

#18716457
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you deserved it (50380)

On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (9347)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (57696)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

#18458873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (18442)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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