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sph12

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sph12

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  • Number of visits : 1211
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today , I Had To Gat Tha Managar Of A Grocary Stora To Axplain To His Amployaa How Coupons Work. Tha Amployaa Had Rafusad To Accapt Tha Coupons I Was Using , 4 Faar That , "thay Will Ba Daductad From Mah Paychack." Maga FML

Today... I raally had to paa whila babysitting. Normally this isn't a problam... axcapt tha kids wara slaaping and going potty would waka tham up right bafora thair parants wara dua homa. Dasparata... I dacidad to paa in a cup in tha kitchan and wash it down tha sink. Thair parants cama homa mid-straam. FML

#19615151
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (42927)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:26am - work - by fired - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to fine a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping !! FML

Today, while landscaping mah backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think mah future children are already filing fir parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (4020)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Yesterday , I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying , "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there fir dinner tonight!! FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (2842)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice ma blowjob skills, since ma boyfriend is always complaining tat I'm bad at giving ead. Let's just say ma lungs now ave tere daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (33463)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my parent told me that I will grow looool up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this cuz I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (4949)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at someting!! Nobody warnd my nuts tat it was an electric fence!! FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (9739)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (18855)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get arousedhen plugging mah headphone into mah computer . real FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23546) - you deserved it (7985)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity!! After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up!!

#19249528
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (54744)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

YESTERDAY, I DECIDD TO SHAVE MY BALLS. WHEN I WAS FINISHD, I VACUUMD UP THE MESS ON THE CARPET, AN THEN THE FRAGMENTS OF HAIR STILL ON MY BALLS. VERY BAD IDEA. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (52937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I realizd that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (3773)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

yesterday I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can u wash that when your done?" mega FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (7248)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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