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sph12

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sph12's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37914) - you deserved it (13830)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (3604)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (3537)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (7993)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (4494)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (2430)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)



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