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sph12

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sph12's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (28774)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14672) - you deserved it (61804)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (6349)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6081) - you deserved it (17299)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

#3014
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7667) - you deserved it (14927)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by bedrockmike - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19355) - you deserved it (6982)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6992) - you deserved it (23470)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (6549)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (5985)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (108635)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -



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