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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4699
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spermdump : holy fuck batman.

spermdump's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 11:11am<b>chllgy</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 2:07pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>BIONIC859</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:40pm<b>DenisTheMenace</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:45pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:08pm<b>jwwood</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:59pm<b>yenze</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:05pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:21am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:47pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ptellini</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:52am<b>aj9319</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:21am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:08am<b>FeedTheStache</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:45pm

Fucked!<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:09pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:47am

spermdump's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spermdump's favorite FMLs

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

by patrick / 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm / United States / Health

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

by condiments / 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

by kady / 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 3:23am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

by NotSoYoung / 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals