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spearodude

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spearodude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1883
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (9902)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (111386)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (40247)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45305) - you deserved it (5792)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (5673)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (56137)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61473) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (11912)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13605) - you deserved it (69105)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (14384)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (7954)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (41973)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (16035)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)



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