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Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52106) - you deserved it (5657)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39930) - you deserved it (4816)
On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11063) - you deserved it (34626)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (3007)
On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States
Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (4405)
On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14123) - you deserved it (46408)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (6548)
On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States
Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (7374)
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (3368)
On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (52638)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46383) - you deserved it (2185)
On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (2904)
On 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (5106)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (9774)
On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 17 June 2013
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