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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (7310)
On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59279) - you deserved it (5090)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70490) - you deserved it (2712)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75432) - you deserved it (7518)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68946) - you deserved it (16885)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97254) - you deserved it (56316)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63915) - you deserved it (4980)
On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (95076)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (6513)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (2723)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40685) - you deserved it (6041)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (45355)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (42678)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69476) - you deserved it (2857)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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