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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (2108)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47067) - you deserved it (3322)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51069) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (122921)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (71703)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (3840)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2077)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2077)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (61545)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60891) - you deserved it (4479)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (7427)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (16107)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51984) - you deserved it (16288)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (4246)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59431) - you deserved it (3969)
On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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