Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

spearodude

Search for a member

spearodude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1914
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

spearodude's last visitors

alexmac222

spearodude's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spearodude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34965) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (34183)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

#8643603
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (6233)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (27451)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18125) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

#7682413
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (6086)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (6399)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15728) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (6810)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (7279)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (8855)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7285) - you deserved it (39654)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: