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spearodude

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spearodude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1926
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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spearodude's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63722) - you deserved it (7213)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12124) - you deserved it (21123)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (11794)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (4504)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (34309)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43155) - you deserved it (7046)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15943) - you deserved it (77909)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (5519)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (3015)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65559) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (39246)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (32522)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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