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spearodude

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spearodude
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1887
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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spearodude's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (5497)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (4595)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44134) - you deserved it (8672)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49526) - you deserved it (16932)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45793) - you deserved it (6806)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

#16325650
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (8447)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (61183)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (2842)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (2766)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59359) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (9218)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

#16061392
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (13432)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by liynda - Canada

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (42382)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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