Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

spamtastic404

Search for a member

spamtastic404

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2913
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spamtastic404 : i is noob cake

spamtastic404's page activity

Visits<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:13pm<b>KatNipped</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:27pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:06pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 8:58am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 2:26am<b>shoieb9</b> - the 01/19/2010 at 4:34am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 7:52am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 7:12pm<b>wqxjammery</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:52am<b>lmmmr</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 9:13pm<b>bennylove</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 8:40pm<b>meanie_monday</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 6:43pm<b>caneut</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 9:06pm<b>jellyman223</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 1:01am<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 8:42pm

spamtastic404's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spamtastic404's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (21859)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53113) - you deserved it (23658)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (38390)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

#3421405
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61968) - you deserved it (4407)

On 07/02/2009 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Ghostie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

#3394819
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13042) - you deserved it (41392)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Beccarr - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (18093)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126774) - you deserved it (9464)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8966) - you deserved it (115331)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44153) - you deserved it (11434)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2386)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

#3207933
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51428) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83243) - you deserved it (14214)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17654) - you deserved it (41333)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47018) - you deserved it (10206)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (64768)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: