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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12721) - you deserved it (2950)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (5454)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (38576)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (1705)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15777) - you deserved it (2719)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6780) - you deserved it (99479)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (16212)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (4916)
On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9799) - you deserved it (38432)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (6928)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (2156)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States
Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113) - you deserved it (1381)
Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (2235)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (5910)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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