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Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (1166)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (23313)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (20620)
On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (2309)
On 05/24/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by td1078 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (1888)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14788) - you deserved it (2020)
On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15797) - you deserved it (26165)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14341) - you deserved it (1794)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (1467)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (2053)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13500) - you deserved it (6062)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (1312)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11987) - you deserved it (20168)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (2471)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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