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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14881) - you deserved it (6252)
On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)
Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (2169)
On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (1416)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (3913)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (886)
On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (8492)
On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13663) - you deserved it (32184)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (19859) - you deserved it (1132)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (3796)
On 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (1415)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1070)
On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13507) - you deserved it (5980)
On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (970)
On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12542) - you deserved it (6246)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:19pm - animals - by speshlk37 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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