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Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dads favourite position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (49965)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (9054)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (4518)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (1674)
On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18425) - you deserved it (2956)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (2051)
On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21623) - you deserved it (5431)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (2325)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4197) - you deserved it (34687)
On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (1724)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (1724)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18637) - you deserved it (5215)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (1386)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (1217)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (1252)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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