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soulebelius

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soulebelius

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3146
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

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soulebelius's page activity

Visits<b>Steph_mmarie</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:19am<b>Thinkitthrough</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:14am<b>anonopop</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:17am<b>Jinxsie</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:24am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:09am<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:17am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:20pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:43pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:07pm<b>SLFrankyD</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:21am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:40am<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:22pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:25am<b>theboringdolphin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:32am<b>kidmemexoxo</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:03am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:38pm

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (34355)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (3676)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (3678)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (34620)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (11635)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (3215)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46358) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (4538)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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