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soulebelius

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soulebelius

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2350
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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soulebelius's page activity

Visits<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:40am<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:22pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:25am<b>theboringdolphin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:32am<b>kidmemexoxo</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:03am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:43pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:38pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:41pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:16pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:31am<b>OmahaMalling</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:49am<b>ipodtouchgirl</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ToriDiane</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:17am<b>Speedymg</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:49pm<b>SailorKirsty</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:55am<b>mla2000</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:07pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:22pm<b>basicallysherice</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:53pm

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40028) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47581) - you deserved it (3159)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55077) - you deserved it (64189)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50978) - you deserved it (4688)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

#20705382
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (10766)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68084) - you deserved it (4153)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65651) - you deserved it (18716)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57534) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (22376)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (5514)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (33372)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62482) - you deserved it (13655)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (6808)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63075) - you deserved it (5066)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (3916)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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