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soulebelius

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soulebelius

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  • Number of visits : 2802
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (3396)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51041) - you deserved it (27416)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (9030)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (50121)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49400) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (32440) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (43600)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51300) - you deserved it (4236)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (46222)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (48740)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68818) - you deserved it (8094)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (20730)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49742) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79617) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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