Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

soulebelius

Search for a member

soulebelius

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1871
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

soulebelius's page activity

Visits<b>lolthatnoob</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:43pm<b>xxhockeyrocksxx</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:18am<b>melons</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:35pm<b>suslord</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Dailym27</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Alexthegreat475</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:17pm<b>capsizedatsea</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:10pm<b>nrp14</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Lilxpie</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:14am<b>McNikk</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:06pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:31pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 12:45pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 4:03am<b>merpaderp14</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:45pm<b>PsychoticBurrito</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:21am<b>Vidrill</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 12:21am<b>zombedood</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:06am<b>mcimino16</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 6:52am

soulebelius's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of soulebelius's badges

soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50369) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (45229)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (48615)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66807) - you deserved it (7882)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (20658)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49190) - you deserved it (2803)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77885) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (10123)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (19890)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (3762) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47492) - you deserved it (3150)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54922) - you deserved it (64038)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (4682)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

#20705382
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39823) - you deserved it (10752)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: