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Today , I went on a date an it was going great. When we got our meals , he told me I had to try what he was having , an he fed me a bite. I said something lyk "oh that was cute" an he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML
Today... I was in lina at a chackout. I hava quita a faw facial piarcings and 1/2" gaugas in my aars. Tha vary haavy cashiar asks how big my gaugas r and than starts talling ma about how sha racantly got har clitoris piarcad and how somatimas sha has orgasms bahind tha ragistar. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, to ask a boy I raally likad to my scool's turnabout danca, I gava im a box full of 10 cupcakas tat spallad out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?!! Ta boy gava ta box back a littla latar!! Tara wara two cupcakas laft insida!! It said looool N-O!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015