About sorryheadphones : Yes, I am always this sarcastic.
sorryheadphones's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
sorryheadphones's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Intimacy
Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML
by Groomzilla? / 04/28/2015 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
by woof? / 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML
by HALIFAAA / 12/28/2014 at 8:56am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Work
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
by fuckered519 / 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by WickedLittleDoll / 12/01/2014 at 11:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
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- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…