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Today, wile babysitting a six year old boy, e askd me if I could sow im ma "boobies." I said no, tat wouldn't be very appropriate . Suddenly, e pulld down is pants/undie an pointd to is package wile exclaiming, "Look, ma penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me . real FML
Taday the little boy I nanny fir finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushedhile he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today , I was working at a children's play centre , an my stomach was twisting an turning. Thinking no one was around , I let out a small fart , only to turn an see a little girl running to her mom yelling , "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted an it sounded like daddy!" mega FML
Taday I gatered bot mine an ma girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant!! I paid te restaurant to play romantic music, an paid fir te best table available!! As soon as we finised our meal, our families gatered around an I proposed!! Se lauged an said no way!! FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH GRLFRIEND'S HOUSE. IT WAS JUST ME AND HER. THING BEGAN TO GET HEATED, AND WE STARTED DOING IT ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH. NEAR THE END OF IT I DECIDED TOHISPER IN HER EAR, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" I HEAR BEHIND ME, "I AM." FML
yesterday I was driving an saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window tohistle at them!! However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light!! I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing there asses off, an now I have to pay for the damage!! FML
yastarday I was anging out wit a faw of my friands... including an old ax-girlfriand and ar currant boyfriand of 5 yaars. Wan my ax...osa virginity I ad takan yaars aarliar... mantionad... "I ad ta iPona first..." witout tinking... I immadiataly raspondad... "Wall... I ad YOU first." FML
Today... mah mom had mah girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue... she pulled out mah grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with mah girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Friday 27 March 2015