Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you F*ing cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64139) - you totally deserved it (37517)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels & Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38815) - you totally deserved it (5651)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68471) - you totally deserved it (2059)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58193) - you totally deserved it (4555)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16474) - you totally deserved it (248221)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (383871) - you totally deserved it (67133)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you totally deserved it (11129)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (328436) - you totally deserved it (18710)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by misc (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you totally deserved it (4325)
On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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