About solarrunner : Tooo lazy to write, that...
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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (39338)
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (3523)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (2553)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (5505)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16960) - you deserved it (1357)
On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (5062)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (10259)
On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (2349)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (1786)
On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (1740)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (27441)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52064) - you deserved it (2574)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (2473)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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