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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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sockbasher

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sockbasher
  • Town/Country : australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 March 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 140
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sockbasher's favorite FMLs

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

#4478482 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (2060)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (2792)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (1151) - you deserved it (2532)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

#4450231 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (4090)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (70091) - you deserved it (14844)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (41917)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (6900)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (51335) - you deserved it (5082)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (6758)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)



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