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About soccerluver315 : I'm Lauren and I'm in the U.S.
i love to draw, paint, do anything artsy and I have a healthy obsession with cats.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
Today , I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see wat it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room , build momentum , an launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. real FML
Today... I Met My Birth Mother. My Dad Won't Talk To Me... My Mom Won't Stop Crying An Think I'm Replacing Her... An The Rest Of My Family Won't Stop Calling Me A Bitch. I'm 21... An I Just Wantd To Meet The Woman Who Pushd Me Head-first Out Of Her Vagina. FML
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML
Today, I was walking along the beach at night with family. A huge wave came up an knockd me over. When we got to the van, I realizd that the keys that had been in pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, an money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML
Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.
Today, hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witnes her kick the mutilated bodie of her two babie out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now sister refuse to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML
Today , my family and I went to feed carrots to te giraffes at te zoo. After I finised my first cup of carrots , I turned back to get some more. Suddenly , I was jerked back and a cunk of my air was ripped out. Te giraffe mistook te orange barrette in my air fir a carrot. FML
Today, I got a call from the police . Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them . I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds . real FML
I WENT TO SEE ONE OF MAH FAVORITE BANDS. THEY WERE HAVING SIGNINGS... BUT ONLY THE FRST ONE HUNDRD COULD GET ONE. WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO THE DESK... THEY SAID I WAS NUMBER HUNDRD AND ONE... AND TO GET LOST. FML
TADAY I OVERERED MY RIPPD, ANDSOME, GENETICALLY PERFECT BROTER TELLING MY MOM OW ( FAT PEOPLE ) MAKE IM ( NERVOUS ). I AVE ONLY RECENTLY ACCEPTD MY WEIGT, AFTER STRUGGLING FIR YERES. I NOW UNDERSTANDY MY BROTER RARELY TALKS TO ME. REAL FML
Friday 27 March 2015