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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2963
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About soccerluver315 : I'm Lauren and I'm in the U.S.
i love to draw, paint, do anything artsy and I have a healthy obsession with cats.

soccerluver315's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 6:42pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:25am<b>ChrisTehAsian</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:41pm<b>windyouthere</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:25am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:55pm<b>decroma</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:00pm<b>koganti</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:21am<b>Muguninibwa</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:40am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:12am<b>p36288</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:12am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:01am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:45am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Zerizle</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:02am<b>db32</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:57pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:29pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:42am

soccerluver315's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of soccerluver315's badges

soccerluver315's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

by cricketsins / 08/11/2013 at 3:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous