Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

snapplecap281

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

snapplecap281

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1516
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About snapplecap281 : Message me if you wanna talk. 'Tis all

snapplecap281's page activity

Visits<b>MissEris</b> - yesterday at 8:41am<b>jeremycruz</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:09pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:39am<b>poncho55</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:44pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 12:04am<b>Bukowskiwasanass</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:06pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:42am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Gavyng123</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:20am<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 11:37am<b>adameeo</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 12:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:21am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 8:23am<b>andiewithlove</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 12:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:38pm

snapplecap281's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of snapplecap281's badges

snapplecap281's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (8765)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (6081)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49680) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40865) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (44613) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55488) - you deserved it (3948)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (25169)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50011) - you deserved it (4718)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80019) - you deserved it (24561)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (10113)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (57653)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: