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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (83438)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (6932)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10765) - you deserved it (44642)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6453) - you deserved it (88476)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (1835)
On 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username -
Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18088) - you deserved it (1919)
On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -
Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (2254)
On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (2297)
On 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11880) - you deserved it (22676)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (28423)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (5352)
On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6226) - you deserved it (18095)
On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States
Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (1644)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (1736)
On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (3141)
On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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