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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (29244)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55365) - you deserved it (2805)
On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (1956)
On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (1967)
On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)
Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8419) - you deserved it (24430)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (1487)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (1487)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (2263)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (5665)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (1549)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States
Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47765) - you deserved it (4093)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (1933)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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