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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (6921)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (18284)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (18284)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (24587)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (2121)
On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10280) - you deserved it (22457)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35925) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18474) - you deserved it (1381)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm - health - by aylla - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (3701)
On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States
Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (1741)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (1940)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (3123)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by insulted - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (1762)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34744) - you deserved it (2807)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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